The Book of Ben Chapter 2:30-34*

30. And it came to pass that in those days, Bens two front teeth were very loose. And the number of teeth that were loose, was two. And Ben, being very young and uneducated in the ways of the world, didn't want them to come out. But his mother, seeing that they were ready, caused that she should grab one with a tissue and yank. Now this tooth was the looser of the two. But behold, it didn't come all the way out. It caused only that it stuck straight out. Now this caused much sorrow to Ben. There was much of wild eyes and gnashing of the tooth. Insomuch that his lamenting did cause that his little baby sister was scared and she had great sorrow, and many tears were shed on his behalf.

32. But behold, his mother didn't give up. Therefore, after some boldness of speech and Ben hearing that these were the ways of our fathers, and our fathers fathers, he had calmed down some. And his mother took the tooth with another tissue and pushed inward. Thus the tooth was freed from it's great and terrible grasp.

33. And Ben wept.

34. And there was much rejoicing in all that were present. And behold, it pleased his mother greatly to see this thing that had come to pass. And Ben caused that he should place his tooth under his pillow so that the Tooth Fairy should visit that night. Notwithstanding all that had gone on that night, the other tooth is still in and still loose. And lo, Ben will probably not allow that it also should be pulled any time soon.

(* Get it? 2:30 = tooth hurty? AhHAHahahahaha!)

(I may or may not have stolen that from a Laffy Taffy wrapper.)

Happy face

Addie has the funniest, goofiest "happy face" I've ever seen. As soon as I ask, where's your happy face? she makes this face:

Big softie

I have been known to have America's light rock favorites programmed in my car. I am not ashamed to admit it. It's for those times when I let the ipod battery die (which is more often than I would like) (and "let" doesn't mean that I wanted it to happen) (it just means that I forgot to charge it). I can't just have silence. What am I going to do with all that quiet? Think? Meditation is just not my thing. So it's time to turn on the radio. I can never just leave my radio on one station, I have to constantly move through my six buttons to make sure that I have the least annoying song to listen to. When that goes to commercial or just starts playing a really bad song, I need to see what else is out there on the radio waves.

I could never just leave the station that plays soft hits from the 70's 80's and 90's on permanently because I don't like most of what they play. But you just never know when you're going to come upon a gem like Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler) or Say You, Say Me (Lionel Ritchie). It's pure luck when I get to have Heart singing their hearts out in my car to These Dreams. I melt into a puddle of heaven when I hear Phil Collins singing Against All Odds or In The Air Tonight. I squeal with joy when I can listen to OMD's If You Leave, REO Speedwagon's Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore, or Chicago's You're the Inspiration (let's face it, any Chicago song will do).

I'm pretty sure that you will agree with me when I say that these songs are gems. Beautiful, glittery gems that sometimes blind you when the sun hits them just right. I wish that they played all of these songs in a row, but it is not to be. I must leave the station as soon as the next song comes on and then just take my chances another day, another time. It's like playing the lottery. Sometimes I lose, sometimes I win big time.

But it's during these times when I find the last half of a Thompson Twins song or an Air Supply song that I remember, Ahhh, yes. This is the very reason that I keep button number 5. I like me some soft hits sometimes.

The wait is over

I once said that I could name all of my elementary teachers just from memory. And I know that you've waited too long and are dying of excitement now that I am going to do it. Who were they? Tell us! you say. Well here it goes:

Kindergarten: Mrs. Jacobson - happy, kind, loving, (jolly!) the best kind of Kindergarten teacher.

1st grade: Mrs. Pinney - stern, don't remember her ever smiling. I was jealous of everyone who had Miss Nielson. She was so nice and pretty.

2nd: Mrs. Kelly - I remember what she looked like but I don't remember much else about her.

3rd: Mrs. Ball - classmates said her husband's name was Harry. Seriously! It really does start that young. Scary. My daughter's starting 3rd this year.

4th: Mrs. Akagi - she was as tall as some of the students. She wasn't Japanese but her husband was.

5th: Miss Tuft - I was worried once because I lost some certain paper that we all needed, and I told her so she could help me, and she got mad at me for losing it. She made me cry in front of the whole class and I've never forgotten it. She came through the drive-thru (is that how you spell that?) of a bank that I worked for years later. Still single. Still ugly. Yeah, I know that's mean but she was mean first. People who yell at good little girls are ugly inside and out. Plus she really is a homely person. She was looking at me through the window of the bank like she recognized me but I pretended like I had no idea who she was. Ha ha! It felt good. In a bad sort of way.

6th: Mr. Stavros - everyone liked him. he was loud, funny and nice. He called me "Mac" since my last name started with Mc.

I know that some of you might not think of remembering all your elementary teachers' names is a talent, but I do. A talent of memory. A talent of cleverness. A talent of beauty and smarts all rolled into one. Yes. I have that talent.